Last weekend my eye crossed an article with all kinds of dating tips and advice on how to get together. As you probably do or don’t know: I’m single and after 30 years I discovered I would like to be in an actual relationship. So my father kindly suggested that maybe subscribing to a dating website wouldn’t be a bad idea. Now, that’s not exactly what I had in mind! However, his words and the article did inspire me to write this blogpost about my not so average relationship with relationships. Other than talking about what’s wrong with men I took a look at myself because believe it or not, that’s where it all starts.

So my first “problem” is that I’m not at all the flirting type or at least not in a conscious way. Sometimes I even do the total opposite, when an attractive guy looks at me, I turn my head because it makes me nervous. If you know anything about body language you’re aware of the fact that this is the worst thing you can do. And when I’m not interested and just my weirdo friendly self, guys think I’m totally into them. It’s complicated, I know!

When I make it through step one and I actually start talking to a guy, I can tell quite quickly if I would ever go on a date with him or not. Some people call it superficial or high maintenance, I blame it on my gut feeling. And this doesn’t mean at all I don’t give men a chance to get to know them in a friendly way. For more romantic involvement there just has to be a different kind of attraction which I apparently don’t feel that often. Many times I’ve heard that I urgently need to change and have to become more “open-minded” when it comes to romantic affairs. But if this is anyone’s issue it would be mine and I still rather do things my own way.

Once I actually meet a guy and there’s a mutual attraction we can move over to step three which will probably be going on a “real” date. I’m always pretty nervous on the beforehand but during the actual happening I do easily talk and listen before you start thinking I’m an anti-social nerd. Yet again I find it very important to laugh, have an inspiring conversation and to be able to be myself. In the past I very often played the better version of myself (like I woud ever be truly interested in cars or national football) but that game is officially over.

Many people don’t understand my view on dating and relationships and that’s logical because there are all kinds of different species living on this planet with different personalities. Some prefer to use their minds, others will follow their hearts or primary instincts and sometimes also the parents or society decides. I’m lucky to be born in a country where most of the people have a choice so I choose to be in a non-forced relationship with someone I feel truly comfortable with. Call it romantic, idealistic or whatever but I still prefer being alone instead of with someone I don’t want to be with!